Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A Bum Deal

I am notoriously bad with skirts. I am embarrassed to admit that when it comes to clothing my bottom half, my inner Geordie refuses to let me entertain anything that ends more than two inches below my knicker line. I like glorified belts and will concede that anything larger than a pelmet makes me feel like my 80+ year old nana. It's unfortunate and need I say 'tarty' but there is no accounting for taste. Especially not mine.
Hence, I feel that when it comes to making a good impression, I should steer clear of 'la jupe' - full stop. Unless I want to be mistaken for an entirely different genre of working girl as I stumble through the lobby.And so, it's going to have to be trousers - but with so many styles vying for my attention, I feel like I've been hurled headlong into a sartorial minefield.

The high waist shows no sign of losing momentum - and for obvious reasons. I remember vividly lusting after a pair of high-waisted, washed out jeans by Chloe, who kick started the trend seasons ahead of the rest of the fashion pack (S/S '04 to be precise). Eugenia Volodina was a vision of beauty perched precariously atop what appeared to be spindly stilts (but were in fact her seemingly endless legs). Such is the beauty of 'waisted' bottoms. They add inches (vertically) where in reality there may be none.
But, the waist has evolved and long gone are the days when retailers only stocked one waspish option. Now the rails are inundated with 'peg-tops' and 'corset waists' with cinching here and pleats there - no stone has been left unturned.

I must confess, that more recently I have been intrigued by the 'harem' versions that designers are touting. They're more than a bit MC Hammer but, in keeping with my making bad decisions, I'm struggling to see past them. Alas, however, I doubt that looking like an 80's rapper will go down any better than looking like a hooker, so I literally, 'can't touch this'.

Fortunately though (for me anyway) All Saints have played a blinder in the trouser department and when I moseyed around their Newcastle store recently I was bewildered by my options. Almost every pair of trousers had a masculine spin and one in particular even boasted a play on the 'harem/MC Hammer' thing - a 'baggy bottomed' but incredibly chic charcoal grey 'pantalon'. The look was sufficiently nonchalant and 'I borrowed these from my boyfriend' to be sexy, without being too overt. For the office, I would probably pair them with either an incredibly restrictive white shirt, or a good quality t-shirt in a sufficiently drapey fabric. (CC California and James Perse both do great 't-shirts' that are soft as butter and cut to 'fit'). Then, to prevent the overall look from being too severe, I'd add some shoulder grazing earrings, a pink blush and a teased out ponytail. I want to look like I mean business - but not like I'd chop your balls off and feed them to you. There's a happy medium.

The other pair that caught my attention were intimidatingly narrow and navy blue. Whilst I adore black, I do sometimes worry that it's a bit funereal - and come winter I know it'll be about the only colour in my wardrobe. Thus, I think navy offers a refreshing alternative whilst being just as flattering and a lot less bleak.
In fact, I've just bought a pair of dark blue 7/8ths (as that is what those-who-know insist on calling them) from Jigsaw - mainstay of the 'yummy mummy' brigade. Normally I would turn my nose up at the thought of even glancing in the window but my desperate need called for desperate measures and, I will concede that I was surprised enough to walk out the door with a bag bursting with tailored neutrals. Along with afore-mentioned trews, I also picked up a pair of 'hot shot' shorts (the demure alternative to 'hot pants') in a dense linen weave. They sit just above the knee and although not trousers, they've got enough of the androgynous factor to make them worlds better than the dreaded skirt. They tap into the nautical trend that arises every summer (because, of course, I'll skip out of the office and head straight to my yacht in St. Tropez - she's called 'In My Dreams') - but I'm definitely going to avoid the obvious stripe option and instead team them with a shell top, in either a sludgy green or ice blue (it's going to be the only colour to wear come autumn - apart from black). I'll slick on a coral lip (less obvious than red), 'Rouge Noir' nails and silver bangles. I think navy and gold can make one look too much like Captain Birdseye - although, clean shaven - hopefully.


My only other port of call is Reiss who I noticed are currently playing host to pair of skinny black 'ski pants' (Ski Pants_Dinnington 259025). I think the stirrups add an element of humour and make them slightly out of the ordinary. Ultimately, clothes should be fun and I feel that with these, Reiss have struck the right balance between smart and slightly tongue-in-'chic'. (Sorry, I couldn't resist). Check out these and others on their website http://www.reiss.co.uk/catwalk.

Happy Shopping!

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